Bancroft

Today is the last day of school. 
I had to fill out one of those reflection surveys for my Americorps experience and I thought it was appropriate that there was never actually a place where I could share my thoughts. 
So here we go: 

I signed on for this year of service for a number of reasons: i love teaching, i love working with kids, i was confident i could do it well, education award, there were NO other jobs, health care...
Now, almost a year later, I find myself taking a big breath of relief as the promise of almost 3 months away from this job await me.... and yet another big breath as I prepare myself for the year of service that lies beyond those 3 months. 

A lot of good has come from my Americorps experience. 
Survival, for instance... 
I worked a year of 50 hour work weeks for the massive pay of...wait for it.... $900.00 per month and I'm healthy. 
I've paid my rent, my phonebill, my student loan payments, etc. without fail or fear, and somehow managed to afford a trip to NY and weekend outings with friends. Of course, none of that would have been possible without taxpayers and food stamps (thank you thank you.)   SO, thank you Americorps for helping me learn how to be good at being poor! 
Of course, the kids have been amazing.... from Xochitl, who makes the world bright (and also happens to share my birthday and have the most beautiful name in existence).. to Kenneth, who would never communicate beyond shaking his head yes or no, but who always smiled shyly when he saw me and reacted more from praise and worked harder than any other child I worked with.... to Habib, who told me i wasnt allowed to listen to Nigerian music, that he hated my hair, and who came to my office every morning to say hello.... 
they were all amazing, and I'm looking forward to seeing them again next year. 
(not to mention...i have 3 sweet secret handshakes with some 1st graders)


Americorps is not all good though... and I'm not even talking about the being poor part. 
I'm talking about being expected to work fulltime for so little $ and so little support and being treated like children. Regardless of whether or not you call something a job should have nothing to do with the respect you give the person working for you. Just because I teach children doesnt mean you have to treat me like I am one. I dont want to go to trainings and have snack time, sing songs, and make sticker charts with my fellow members. I want you to tell me what you want me to do, let us talk about it like adults, and let me go home with my sanity. 


Working fulltime is has been a major bummer. I've hated busting my ass all day and coming home too exhausted to use my brain. At least until February/March I could hardly get myself to do anything after work. I mean, ya...the work I've done is extremely important and I am proud of it, but for a while there, I didnt have the energy to make myself better...  Once I started doing things for myself again, the work got better too, but its still a strange existence. 


BLAH BLAH BLAH. 
one year down. one to go. and then I'M OUT OF HERE! 
this job has been pretty good for helping me see straight. I know my priorities. I know what i need to be healthy:
my mom. friends. good food. rock-out crazy dancing. constant learning. travel. treats. goals. lists. music.